"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
