My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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