I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
