Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
