who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize