My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I will be naked everywhere
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
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