How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
