I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
i think im in europe. pls send help
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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