i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Randomize
