So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
