Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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