I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
