Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
