I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
