dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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