Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
