thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
