All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
no you cant smoke seaweed
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
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