I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
