***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
She is in my trunk
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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