I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
