I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
