screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Randomize
