she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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