No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
