is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
