Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
