why didn't you poke me back
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
