You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
