the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
