i think i have herpe
just one?
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
