If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
apparently the secret to your success is patron
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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