go do what you do best...puke behind churches
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
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