I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
