I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
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