I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
