im six kinds of drunk right now
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
The feeling are messing with the penis
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Randomize
