so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
Randomize
