I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
someone owes me an orgasm
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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