In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
