Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
