He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
It's not a walk of shame if you run
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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