nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
