he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
