I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
