im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
