So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
