so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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