How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
