I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
i would punch a child for taco bell
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Randomize
