3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
okay pat passed out under dana's car
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Randomize
