yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Ketchup is God's man juice
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
