are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
