How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I didn't notice because vodka
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
