She just used a chaser for red wine.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
