Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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