Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Randomize