yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
