My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
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